Chronicles of Princess Kitty

Originally written and uploaded to Myspace January 2008.

As much as work normally sucks, what makes it bearable are the people you work with. There are these 2 clowns whom I’ve adopted like my brothers. They’re very funny, like to joke around, and yep, I’m smack in the middle of most of their hijinx. In the name of anonymity, we’ll call one Stoney and the other Chadillionaire. Their aliases are Tim Conley, aka Rosco Butterfield, and Robert Steinberg. For simplistic purposes, We’ll keep with the Stoney and Chadillionaire.

I have this little “Build-A-Bear” character by the name of Princess Kitty. It came with the happy meal for my nephew, that apparently was suppose to have the Spiderman action figure. Much to his chagrin, he was greeted with Princess Kitty (PK). So, from there, she sat in the back of my truck, after he flung her out of the box.One day, when Stoney went on vacation, Chadillionaire took a fake ficus tree out of an empty office and placed it in Stoney’s cube. Of course, the next logical step would be to decorate it, right? Floppy disks hung with paper clips, white out, a pumpkin bowl…


 Yeah, we’re pretty productive at work, eh?

 I figured, PK would be the pièce de résistance (in my best French accent). So, I strung together paper clips, brought PK in, and sat her on the paper clip swing. Ahhh! For some STRANGE reason, the VP had a hard time finding the humor in all of this, but, luckily, he let us keep it up until Stoney came back from vacation. Surprise!After the tree was taken down, PK landed on top of my monitor. And so begins the chronicles of Princess Kitty.

Meet Princess Kitty

At least once a week, I’d come back from lunch with PK in rather compromising positions… sometimes, pictures would be sent to me to further bring the action home. The first of the string of violations was, to me, the funniest. It happened right after Halloween. Everyone brought their leftover candy and put it in our jar. Someone brought in mini tootsie rolls… I must say, I’ve never seen tootsie rolls used so creatively before.

From there, the story of how PK had a drug and alcohol problem unfolded, and a daily reminder, after she’s fallen off the wagon time and time again, would be entered in my day planner to visit her at the Promises Rehab Ranch. Here’s an example of a particular day… mind you I only entered the first line.. the rest “just appeared”.

And the latest, Princess Kitty 8 ballin’

Yes, life is entertaining here at work. The PK antics are hilarious at best, but, really, if you could see Chadillionaire, you’d understand the insanity… Ahhh… I found a pic of him placing a plastic bag that a keyboard came in. The bag had a picture of someone suffocating and he wanted to see if it were possible. Ah yes, typical Chadillionaire!



Who’s My Baby Daddy?

Latest Princess Kitty Shinanigans!

Looks like Princess Kitty has gotten herself knocked up.  Yes sirree! I walked in, put my purse down, took off my coat, turned my monitor on, and Stoney asks me how Princess Kitty is doing?

Uh oh… there’s the trigger.

I Looked around and saw her, with her pink Princess dress, all disheveled and stained with dried foam soap, the whisper of innocence slowly diminishing from her eyes…


Is that what I think it is?


A stick with 2 lines on it.

You know, if you’re not expecting it, those 2 lines could mean the end of the world!!

Perhaps it was all the boozing and hard partying she’s been doing, but, we are now on the quest to find the baby daddy!

Time for a visit to the Maury Show!