Archive for the ‘ Observations ’ Category

D.O.R.K.

Some time ago, my coworker, Tony, was cleaning out some old IBM keyboards that the owner and VP prefer to use because they are “clicky”.  Yes, that is a technical term, at least here in this establishment.  “If it no clicky, it no worky” for them.

Anywho, because he popped all the keys off and left them soaking in the sink for what felt like weeks, I finally started badgering him to finish up already.  Surprisingly since he never listens to me, he rinsed them off and set them on a paper towel to dry… for what felt like another couple of weeks.

Being the smart ass that I’m told I am, I decided to steal a few keys spelling out my term of endearment for him.  I waited like a little kid on Christmas morning for him to put the keyboards back together and exclaim, “Hey! I’m missing some keys!” I had it all played out in my head.  By this time, I let a couple coworkers in on my mission so we were all anticipating… and anticipating… and anticipatiing…

A few days later, I look over at his cube and WTH?  There are the keyboards sitting in a crate… with all their keys!  At first I thought he found my secret stash but, knowing him, he could NOT keep his mouth shut about besting me.  So, casually, I asked him about the keyboards and found out he found another keyboard and stole those keys off it without saying a word.  The funny part was that he didn’t think it odd that he was missing any keys, nor did he say anything about it.

How could I bust on him without outing myself?!  Instead, my coworkers and I let it go until an opportune time.

This morning is that day.

 

Here are your keys back.

 

Since our support guy is on vacation (which btw, he is never allowed to do again… EVER!) I had to field the support calls in his stead. He picked a fabulous time to go.

A couple of our printers started acting up so, I had to put a call to HP to try and get this fixed. They are such a helpful bunch, aren’t they? I felt like I was being punked dealing with this clown. It took all my will power to refrain from saying what I truly wanted to say.

 

[Monday, August 22, 2011 4:28 PM] — Automatically generated message:

The support specialist would like to close your service request. If your question has been resolved, you can click here to close it. If this did not answer your question, please submit the reason and we will provide you with more assistance.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:18 AM] — Cadi says:

We are still seeing the skipped pages. I am told that this had happened before on this printer and someone was sent out to fix it. Is there a way to look through the printer’s service history for this?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:19 AM] — Automatically generated message:

A Support specialist, Angela S has been assigned to your case. Oh good, I feel *so* much better.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:21 AM] — Angela S says:

 

Cadi, I am sorry for that. Real sweet of her, right?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:22 AM] — Cadi says:

Thanks. I was hoping that there was a service history on this printer to see what was done to fix this stapling issue.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:25 AM] — Angela S says:

Cadi, Is there anything else that I may assist you with? Wait, what? Weren’t you paying attention?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:26 AM] — Cadi says:

I’m still having issues with this printer. I need assistance in figuring out what’s wrong with it. Hello?  McFly?  Are you home?


***At this point, I was sent a link to escalate my ticket.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:28 AM] — Angela S says:

I shall close the support site from our end if there isn’t anything further to assist you with. Thank you for choosing HP active chat online support. It was a pleasure
supporting you. You have a great day.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 11:28 AM] — Automatically generated message:

The support specialist would like to close your service request. If your question has been resolved, you can click here to close it. If this did not answer your question, please submit the reason and we will provide you with more assistance.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:48 PM] — Cadi says:

I tried using that link but cannot submit a ticket because one of the required fields is not working! I’m trying to select a country or region and it comes up blank with nothing to select.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:48 PM] — Automatically generated message:

A Support specialist, Angela S has been assigned to your case. Oh thank goodness.  We saw how helpful she was before.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:48 PM] — Angela S says:

 

please try link later. W.T.F.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:50 PM] — Cadi says:

I’d like your manager’s email address please.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:50 PM] — Angela S says:

Cadi, please confirm the exact issue now that you are experincing. Don’t play dumb with me, bitch.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:54 PM] — Cadi says:

my issue is that I have contacted HP regarding a printer that I have paid for support. I was told to upgrade the firmware, have done that, and now am being sent to a different site that doesn’t work. What I’ve asked was whether there was any service history on my printer that can be looked up, only to have that request ignored.
And now, I’m trying to go onto a site that won’t let me move forward because one of the fields is not working. Meanwhile, I’ve been down a printer this whole time and am getting sick of being asked to confirm what my issue is. I would like your manager’s address.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:55 PM] — Angela S says:

Cadi, I am sorry for the inconveince caused. I bet you are. I bet the backspace inconveniences you too.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:56 PM] — Angela S says:

I would help you. So you say.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:58 PM] — Angela S says:

Please confirm whether you want to know whether there is any service note for the printer?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:58 PM] — Cadi says:

Are you able to look up the printer’s service history to see what was done to fix this issue, which we’ve had before?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:58 PM] — Angela S says:

Yes. Then do it


[Tuesday, August 23, 20111:58 PM] — Angela S says:

I am Cadi. No you’re not. I AM!


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 1:59 PM] — Cadi says:

Please look up the service history and see what was done to fix this issue in the past. Did anyone else catch the words “in the past?”


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:01 PM] — Angela S says:

I could see that the firmware was being upgraded. No
shit?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:02 PM] — Cadi says:

yep


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:02 PM] — Angela S says:

Cadi, I could see that the case has being escalated. So, higher level technician would call you and fix the issue.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:02 PM] — Angela S says:

You can take reference the case id 4633717925.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:04 PM] — Cadi says:

if you read my previous rant, the website doesn’t WORK.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:05 PM] — Angela S says:

Cadi, you can avoid it. Because already this case has being escalated and an technciian would call you.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:05 PM] — Angela S says:

Not to worry. As if I can be comforted by you.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:05 PM] — Angela S says:

Tecnician would call you and fix the issue. Like you did? How many different ways can she spell “technician”?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:06 PM] — Cadi says:

So, are you able to look up the service history or not?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:06 PM] — Angela S says:

Yes, I do. THEN DO IT!


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:06 PM] — Cadi says:

and did you find anything in the notes? It’s like pulling teeth!


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:07 PM] — Angela S says:

But as the case has being escalated so techcinain would contact you. She’s hiding something. I can feel it. Like the fact she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:07 PM] — Cadi says:

Is there a reason you are not answering me? Did you find anything in the notes?


[Tuesday, August 23, 20112:08 PM] — Angela S says:

I am sorry for that.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:10 PM] — Angela S says:

I can see only firmware upgradtion was done. Is anyone else confused by my request for printer service history?  Not what I just did?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:13 PM] — Cadi says:

That’s all you can see is the current notes? Of the firmware *upgradtion*? When will a tech call me? (Apparently, not picking up on my sarcasm)


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:14 PM] — Angela S says:

Technician will call youa s soon as possible. Soon, she says. I feel so much better.


[Tuesday, August 23, 20112:17 PM] — Angela S says:

Cadi, as case has been escalated we will not be able to continue as techicnian of higher level would call you and take care of it. Because you’ve been such an anchor in my quest for support?


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:18 PM] — Angela S says:

I shall close the support site from our end if there isn’t anything further to assist you with. Thank you for choosing HP active chat online support. It was a pleasure
supporting you. You have a great day.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:19 PM] — Automatically generated message:

The support specialist would like to close your service request. If your question has been resolved,
you can click here to close it. If this did not answer
your question, please submit the reason and we will provide you with more
assistance.


[Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:20 PM] — Cadi says:

Fuck you. Ok, so I didn’t say that. But I SO wanted to!


 

Telekenesis?

There are few things that break up an already boring work day.  Things that make you really pause, take stock, and realize the meaning to your life.  Has anyone had an epiphany such as this?

This happened to me this morning.  I was grumbling along, neck deep in contracts, POs, future purchases… I just needed to get away from my desk and get some coffee, hoping to jump start my brain into action this morning.

What I was about to see, no one could prepare me for…

What was on the counter…

It was as if my insides were screaming, projecting my thoughts, and with some jedi power, moved the taco bell sauces from the box o’ sauces to the counter….

Telekinesis, the power to move objects with our minds…

Is this phenomenon possible?

Whether it is telekinesis or a bunch of tom foolery, it definitely made me pause… and giggle.

The Great Pink Soap Caper

You know, there are certain things that happen, albeit small things, that can cause a person to obsess over. Mine happened a few days ago at work. As I sit here at my favorite coffeehouse hangout, good friend sitting in front of me oblivious to the impending lapse in judgement I’m about to have, as I’m drinking my blended iced chai, giggling over this topic. It’s just absolutely unbelievable, and I feared that if I were to only describe it, I would be passed as a sad-sap. But, luckily for me, I brought the ole “Canon” with me and snapped a few for all to see.

As most companies are feeling the various states of economics, times can be a little tight financially and the crackdown on extraneous and unnecessary expenditures is set in motion. This brings me to the story of our hand soap in the upstairs restroom.

The metal soap dispenser had been giving us issues as of late. We couldn’t pump the darn soap without the spout literally falling off. What was funny was that everytime it fell off, I’d place it gently next to the sink so as to alert the powers-that-be that we needed a replacement to the cheap dispenser. Magically, after the office admin assistant visited the bathroom, the pump was back on, only to drop with a thud again if you were to look at it wrong. That seemed to be the big F-U I was waiting for. So, guess what I suggested? I suggested that it magically disappear and away it went! So, the office admin assistant (OAA or H.A.G.) proactively took it upon herself to provide us with an alternative means of lather. The first attempt was a gallon jug propped on the countertop filled with pink hand soap. Um… what?! Yeah…. As the office ladies, myself included, gathered to discuss this new “pump jug”, a plan was devised that because we couldn’t control that pink glob from just POURING out, poured out it would be with each use.

Personally, I bring my own soap. Nice foamy pump that only I use. Ahhh…. Anywho.

OAA, I guess, noticed that we had gone through a half gallon jug in the morning, and decided to fill another quart sized pump and placed it lovingly in the bathroom. Oh, by that way, she didn’t put the pump on it. Just left it sans pump. Quite sanitary, eh? For some strange reason, that too was disappearing at an alarming rate. So, she went to the next level. And thus begins the drama.

I had gotten a tad bit dusty working on a PC out in our label room and decided to make a pitstop in our restroom to wash the crud off. As I grabbed my Raspberry foam soap (ahhh…), I put the bottle down on the counter right next to where the company jug usually sat. I had to do a double take, for this is what I saw….

 

Wow. Seriously? She went there. All official with the hazard labels on it and EVERYTHING! Hey, you know, I felt relieved that there were no caustic chemicals in there, was not flamable, had no reactivity and posed no real health hazard (except my vomit reaction to the cheapness). As a sidenote, getting these pictures was kinda funny. My digital camera makes that clicking noise so, imagine that noise coming out of the office bathroom… hehe. Hush, you dirty minded goons! What was funnier was that I took the bottle to show another lady on the floor who happens to sit in the next cube from H.A.G. Well, H.A.G. had gotten up to visit the rest room. I can hear cupboard drawers open and close, as if she were looking for the glop. It was all too funny as I was trying to think of a way to slyly return the glop without her knowing it was me that was doing the “show and tell” around the office. Ahhh.. good times, good times!

Anywho, I did a double take again and realized she reused a dish soap bottle as demonstrated here.

I’m so glad she labelled it. I wouldn’t have known the difference! So, this got me and the safety guy talking and decided to pitch in with this idea and go a step further. After laughing hysterically over the suggestions we threw about, we thought, we could mass produce this stuff just by reusing some household items, such as the following.

 

I swear, we should totally get raises!

Umm…

I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

UPDATE: H.A.G. is no longer with us… NO!  She’s
not dead (at least I don’t think).  She
was canned.  I hope you appreciate my
sensitivity on both of those statements.

Antique Cuisine. YUM!

As some of you already know, we are a bunch of goofballs at work. Despite the dreary weather outside, the mood in the office is relatively light… Perhaps the fact that it’s Friday has something to do with it. Or perhaps it was the idea that someone was thoughtful enough to bring some donuts in. Who knows?

Today’s adventure consisted of discovering hidden treasures. The “oldies but goodies”. Sheri, Chad, and I were having a business related discussion on how to link a youtube video, Sir Mix A Lot’s “Jump On It”, to Chad’s profile. While I was explaining how to do that, Sheri started cleaning out the fridge of week-old hot sauce from the local Mexican restaurant. This segued to Tony’s fabulous and distinct culinary abilities which were displayed by his putting Taco Bell hot sauce on his ham sandwich yesterday at lunch. Perhaps we amateurs are not keen to the sophisticated flavor profiles of boiled ham and Bell Sauce. I, for one, am glad I lack that sophisticated palette.

Anyway, this discussion led to the opening of the cupboards in search of ingredients for Tony to experiment with. And, OH, what we found was just awesome. So awesome, I took a few snaps to share the treasures.

The first one Sheri saw was the ancient bottle of Tussin. Tony said it was because she’s a habitual “robidoser” and can spot those from a mile away. LOL

 

We wanted to check out the ingredients to see if they are still legal.

And then, we caught a glimpse of the expiration date.

 

We wondered what effect that would have if ingested… hmmm… Perhaps a project for Tony later in the year when we present the annual walk-across-the-pond-for-20-bucks dare. It’s become tradition.

Then, we realized there was more to the cabinet that meets eye. Check out the old school packaging of some of these.There’s a collector out there willing to pay big bucks for old packaging that predates the date code mandates. Taking first bids!

 

UPDATE: it’s 2.5 years later and these items are still in the cupboards.  I say we’ve crossed over to the Antique Roadshow.