Antique Cuisine. YUM!

As some of you already know, we are a bunch of goofballs at work. Despite the dreary weather outside, the mood in the office is relatively light… Perhaps the fact that it’s Friday has something to do with it. Or perhaps it was the idea that someone was thoughtful enough to bring some donuts in. Who knows?

Today’s adventure consisted of discovering hidden treasures. The “oldies but goodies”. Sheri, Chad, and I were having a business related discussion on how to link a youtube video, Sir Mix A Lot’s “Jump On It”, to Chad’s profile. While I was explaining how to do that, Sheri started cleaning out the fridge of week-old hot sauce from the local Mexican restaurant. This segued to Tony’s fabulous and distinct culinary abilities which were displayed by his putting Taco Bell hot sauce on his ham sandwich yesterday at lunch. Perhaps we amateurs are not keen to the sophisticated flavor profiles of boiled ham and Bell Sauce. I, for one, am glad I lack that sophisticated palette.

Anyway, this discussion led to the opening of the cupboards in search of ingredients for Tony to experiment with. And, OH, what we found was just awesome. So awesome, I took a few snaps to share the treasures.

The first one Sheri saw was the ancient bottle of Tussin. Tony said it was because she’s a habitual “robidoser” and can spot those from a mile away. LOL

 

We wanted to check out the ingredients to see if they are still legal.

And then, we caught a glimpse of the expiration date.

 

We wondered what effect that would have if ingested… hmmm… Perhaps a project for Tony later in the year when we present the annual walk-across-the-pond-for-20-bucks dare. It’s become tradition.

Then, we realized there was more to the cabinet that meets eye. Check out the old school packaging of some of these.There’s a collector out there willing to pay big bucks for old packaging that predates the date code mandates. Taking first bids!

 

UPDATE: it’s 2.5 years later and these items are still in the cupboards.  I say we’ve crossed over to the Antique Roadshow.

 

 

Oh the Irony…

I was eating lunch today in our conference room and began to giggle to myself.  I was staring at a picture that has been falling apart since the day I started here.  For some reason, no one wants to put it out of its misery.  Considering we bring our customers through here, you’d think it would be the first to go, right?

No, that’s not the funny part.  I’m sure you can find the humor.

The picture is captioned as followed:

Every job
is a self-portrait
of the person who did
it.  Autograph
your work with
Quality.

Sickness Be GONE!

Originally written in Spring 2008

Germs, germs, EVERYWHERE!

What the hell? 

It’s Spring, inching closer and closer to Summer.

And here we are.  Sick.  Infections.  Icky Mucus.

Why, oh, why is my counter littered with prescription bottles?  I’ve gotten over the hump of an illness, well, several, and have the lingering gasping for breath and coughing fits, where my head feels like it’s going to explode from the force. As I can feel the compulsion to cough approach, the cartoon image of one’s head popping off fills my head. of course, this episode chewed up 4.5 days of vacation time I didn’t have.  Oh wait, that’s right.  I was docked for it.  That is for another blog.

Most people use their common sense and try to stay home when they are contagious.  Most.  Then, you’ve got people that won’t stay home no matter what.  Won’t go to the doctor to stop being contagious.  Those are whom I label as carriers.  Spreading their “joy” from one person to another, coughing on you, coughing into their hand as they reach for the candy jar, leaning on the printer and coughing into the paper return.  You know the types.  The same ones that wipe their nose and never washes their hands.  I’m a compulsive ‘handwasher’.  If I even THINK I’ve coughed into my hands, they get washed.  That just IRKS me.  Get what I’m saying?  You know the Lysol commercial with the little green squigglies crawling all over the door knobs, phones, and toys?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, they had these carriers in mind when they dreamt that up.

So, I’ve introduced a coworker I call Stoney in previous blogs.  He now likes to be addressed as the “Gooch”, but, that too is for another blog.  What a character.  One day, he and I got to talking, and hashed out our issues with said carriers.  Amongst all this sickness, we’ve come up with another way to dodge the little monsters.

Observe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We call this the office SARS mask. Available in several different pastel colors,  it can protect us from the illness or block the carriers from spreading the illness.  Either way, it’s a win-win, right???  If used effectively, it can ward away most illnesses. Or at least send a message.  I’m thinking more message than protection, but, either way, it’s useful!

 

Cautionary Measures

Step 1.  Infectious person approaches

Step 2.  Ask walking infection to hold on for a sec

Step 3.  In an obvious fashion, grab a kleenex.  If none is available, RUN, not walk, to the closest restroom and grab a paper towel.  If no paper towel is available, snag some toilet paper.  A long piece.  It’s the message we’re after here and continue on to Step 4.

Step 4.  Put the Kleenex/paper towel to your face, covering mouth and nose.  If you have goggles, place them over your eyes now.  If you have toilet paper, make sure you grabbed enough to wrap around your head, bandit style.

Step 5.  Tell infection to proceed.

 

There have been several renditions of this mask, however, the previous ones were deemed problematic after say, a minute or so… Chadillionaire modeled this one.  This image was used in other blogs, but, it’s so fitting here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sure, by now, you realize what the issue is here.

Here’s another picture we took, but, this seemed to make people talk to him rather than ward them away.  So, we had to nix this one quickly. He also had to be quite careful as this too can become problematic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our search continues for the perfect office apparatus to ward away sickness.

Until then… Be careful out there… It’s stupid.

Harpies Are Evil

Well folks, I’m sitting here again at the coffee house of choice, with a good friend, head phones cranked up, trying to listen to anything BUT the acoustic guitar and off key singer they’ve hired for Saturday afternoons.  I figured I’m going to go deaf either way, why not do it with music that I can actually stand, right?  LOL

OUCH! That was a bit harsh and probably unfair to the singer.  Maybe her hair is covering her ears too much that she can’t tell which note she started off with.  She does have some thick hair, now that I think about it.  Hmmm… how does that work, I wonder. I thought the earmuff effect was to HELP the tone.  No?  In this case, not so much.

Whoa, is that a gong in the corner?  Coincidence?  I think not.  After further investigations, I realized I wandered in the kitchenette and grabbed a pot and giant spoon.  Hehe.  Alright, so I didn’t do that, but, how funny would THAT be?!  It’s not the gong show, but, I do liken it to the really bad auditions of American Idol.

Ok, quick update on me.  Lots of things have been going on in my life lately.  My sister and nephew just left yesterday from their visit from NC. It’s always nice having them out and it just makes me miss having my sister around.  With all the whatnots out there, trusting other females can become like mental judo around here, and it’s nice to have a break every once in a while.

Nothing much has happened with the pink soap drama.  At least a great pink soap caper came about.  Those are the work days I love.  hehe.  Those are the ONLY work days I love. I need to have more days like those… although, I probably would get fired, eh?

As a sidenote, in case you see a lot of typos, the harpy is screeching and is piercing through my armored head phones, making me shudder as it reaches my bones.  It’s like her battlecry.  LOL Feels like my ears are bleeding.  OOOOOOW. r3h fowtewby  tpt4taaW;R  She must be able to read me.  I should stop pointing and laughing at her before she throws a microphone at me!  Too late.  I could swear I saw a flash of red in her eyes… demon in disguise?!  hmm… Well, I have to get going.  Now my eyes are bleeding.  Damn her.

Chronicles of Princess Kitty

Originally written and uploaded to Myspace January 2008.

As much as work normally sucks, what makes it bearable are the people you work with. There are these 2 clowns whom I’ve adopted like my brothers. They’re very funny, like to joke around, and yep, I’m smack in the middle of most of their hijinx. In the name of anonymity, we’ll call one Stoney and the other Chadillionaire. Their aliases are Tim Conley, aka Rosco Butterfield, and Robert Steinberg. For simplistic purposes, We’ll keep with the Stoney and Chadillionaire.

I have this little “Build-A-Bear” character by the name of Princess Kitty. It came with the happy meal for my nephew, that apparently was suppose to have the Spiderman action figure. Much to his chagrin, he was greeted with Princess Kitty (PK). So, from there, she sat in the back of my truck, after he flung her out of the box.One day, when Stoney went on vacation, Chadillionaire took a fake ficus tree out of an empty office and placed it in Stoney’s cube. Of course, the next logical step would be to decorate it, right? Floppy disks hung with paper clips, white out, a pumpkin bowl…

 

 Yeah, we’re pretty productive at work, eh?

 I figured, PK would be the pièce de résistance (in my best French accent). So, I strung together paper clips, brought PK in, and sat her on the paper clip swing. Ahhh! For some STRANGE reason, the VP had a hard time finding the humor in all of this, but, luckily, he let us keep it up until Stoney came back from vacation. Surprise!After the tree was taken down, PK landed on top of my monitor. And so begins the chronicles of Princess Kitty.

Meet Princess Kitty

At least once a week, I’d come back from lunch with PK in rather compromising positions… sometimes, pictures would be sent to me to further bring the action home. The first of the string of violations was, to me, the funniest. It happened right after Halloween. Everyone brought their leftover candy and put it in our jar. Someone brought in mini tootsie rolls… I must say, I’ve never seen tootsie rolls used so creatively before.


From there, the story of how PK had a drug and alcohol problem unfolded, and a daily reminder, after she’s fallen off the wagon time and time again, would be entered in my day planner to visit her at the Promises Rehab Ranch. Here’s an example of a particular day… mind you I only entered the first line.. the rest “just appeared”.

And the latest, Princess Kitty 8 ballin’

Yes, life is entertaining here at work. The PK antics are hilarious at best, but, really, if you could see Chadillionaire, you’d understand the insanity… Ahhh… I found a pic of him placing a plastic bag that a keyboard came in. The bag had a picture of someone suffocating and he wanted to see if it were possible. Ah yes, typical Chadillionaire!